So I have come to the final post in this series about giving the perfect gift!
As a recap, here are some strategies to help you in your relationship to reserve sexual relations until marriage and to best love your beloved:
8. Perseverance
9. Hobbies
And now, the final--and most important--strategy:
Strategy
#10: If you want to love, go to the One who is
Love
You don’t have to do this alone.
In fact, let me rephrase that: you can’t
do this on your own.
To live a life of purity and to truly love necessitates knowing
the very source and origin of love. You
and your beloved care about each other a great deal and probably know each
other pretty well. But God knows you
even better and loves you infinitely.
Sexual relations outside of marriage harms your relationship
with your beloved, but even graver is the damage it does to your relationship
with God. So, while you are trying to
give the perfect gift, don’t neglect the repair needed in your relationship
with your Creator.
First, develop true sorrow, or contrition, for your past
wrongdoings. Realize that your actions
deeply offended the one who loves you the very most. Think about the countless gifts God has given
to you—your very life, your beautiful body, your relationship with your
beloved—and the ways you may have misused these.
Remember your past sins with sadness because you recognize now that your
actions divided you from Love itself.
Once you have this sorrow, be reconciled to God. If you are a Catholic, go to the sacrament of
Confession. In this tremendous gift, you
admit your wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness.
God, in His abundant mercy, wipes away the dark stain of sin on your
soul. The wall that you had built
between you and God crumbles immediately through the power of the
sacrament. The light of grace, once
blocked by the darkness of sin, floods your soul with new brilliance. From this, you receive grace and renewed
strength to fight to give the perfect gift.
The closer you approach the one who is Love, the more you will be able to truly love your beloved. Turn to God in prayer as you and your beloved
seek to give the perfect gift. Mother Teresa once said, "Purity is the fruit of prayer." When you
are tempted, ask God to come to your assistance.
Develop spiritual intimacy with your beloved. The reason God calls some people to marriage
is because that man and woman need each other to grow in holiness and virtue
and, hopefully, to one day enter heaven.
Your spouse is your stairway into heaven. But if you and your spouse never talk about
God, how can that happen?
Pray together. If you
feel uncomfortable, start with basic prayers (like the Our Father). Read a book about the spiritual life together
and use that as a way to initiate a conversation. Attend Mass together on Sunday.
On your wedding day, you make a vow to your beloved before
friends and family, but most of all before God.
Don’t make a vow before someone who is a stranger to you or, even worse,
someone from whom you are estranged due to serious sin.
The sacrifice of Christ on the cross is the greatest image of
love—it is a complete, total, permanent, and life-giving gift. To give the perfect gift to your beloved, you
need God.
Love Him first and Love will
show you the way.
"Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of true love." ~ Blessed Pope John Paul II
"When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you: it will be a crown of triumph." ~ St. Josemaria Escriva
Also helpful:
Chris & I read Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World while we were dating and it was a tremendous source of wisdom and guidance for us.
Check out chastity.com, particularly their Q & A section, which is very in-depth.
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